Why?

When we were in love;
I said,
'I'd die without you'.

You replied,
'I know'.

If you knew it, my love!
Then Why?
Why did you kill me?

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Tied Flowers


I am walking on the road
all alone
(realized, you are gone)

Saw some white flowers
lying on the road.
I picked two of them
and tied them together.

Wish I could present them to you.
Again.

(Last time, you smiled when I gave it to you
Can't forget that warm touch
And your soft voice.
The assurance...
The security)

I come back to my room.
It's warm as always.

Wish I could call you.

I'm staring at the tied flowers.
They will be together
Always.

It is a tight bond.
Was that a loose one?

I'm staring at the tied flowers.
I put them on my keyboard
And start playing 'our' song.

'Preetam tere bina jiya nahi lagta'


This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

An unwanted gift : prateek

You enjoy watching me burn,
to satiate your evil desires;
In the fumes you live,
the moments of your life;

I don't know what you really have for me,
May be I'll never know!

I love your hate;
Burning dozen times a day,
as when the clock turns six,
I live-in your dreams.

I am a loner though everyone uses me,
but I've got a heart, I spare it for you.

I begin and end, to ashes in the tray,
But I control your life.

Today, I give you a gift, an "unwanted one"
Forgive me lord, but make my this lover "nothing"
As he doesn't know any more of my love will kill him!!

I liked this poem written by Prateek Jha. So, Posting it here. Feels like someone has written this poem for me. I got my unwanted gift and became nothing. But, I also have got a heart and I spare it for you. And yaa...I dont hate you.

As far as life is concerned. Still many things are waiting in line to be changed. Planning to learn Tennis in summer. ;) Music lessons are still on. And I'm still in love. And I'm lovin it. ;)

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Friday, March 30, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Mad World

I'm in love with this song. Mad world by Gary Jules.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very, mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very, mad world, mad world
Enlarging your world, mad world

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Rambling

I don't have any idea about the topic I'm gonna write. I don't even know why I suddenly started writing a post for my blog. So, lets find a topic to write first.

Should I write about my life...? (Again..?). Lately I'm posting many depressing posts. So, I want to try something different. Something refreshing, with an entertainment value and with a pinch of happiness. So, it excludes shameful defeat of Indian cricket team. Aah...!! Have I told you that I'm one of the 0.1% Indians who doesn't care about cricket at all.

My academics is also not mentionable. Before mid-sem exams, I was one of the above average, attentive kid. But now, I'm below average kid who misses some classes and if present, can be seen at the back side...sleeping. And today, I got my XX warning. (It's a threat used by IITB professors to ensure attendance in lectures. It means...You fail.)

May be...ummm...I should try reading some poetry on net. Since we poor iitbians are now restricted to use net till 11:00 only. I should rush. I don' think its rigth time for me to write. And specially when I dont have anything to write about.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Monday, March 26, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Nakaamyab

Bahut Koshish ki
ki uski or nigaahein na uthaoon.

Bahut koshish ki
ki man me aasha ka
koi deepak na jalaoon.

Bahut koshish ki
ki man me sir uthate armaano ka
sir kalam karta jaoon.

Bahut koshish ki
ki apne viswas ki chita ke aage
naach sakoon, gaaoon.

Bahut koshish ki
ki apne hi haathon
apne prem ko kafan pahnaoon.

bahut koshish ki
ki kabhi na rookoon,
koshish karta hi jaoon.

Parantu mai,
tumhari ichha ki dori se
khud ko bandha paata hoon.
aur isiliye,
her koshish me
nakamyab ho jata hoon.
-----

Visit http://vikash.mypodcast.com/ for audio clip of the poem.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Sophisticate

Someone said to me few days back that I'm not a sophisticate person. I was really wondering about its meaning. So..tried consulting some dictionaries available to me.

Wordnet: a worldly-wise person
Encarta: cultured or worldly person: a person with cultivated tastes and refined manners who knows how the world works.
Wordweb: A worldly-wise person
Also, "A sophisticated person, experienced in social conventions".

I never knew that I am not sophisticate. Should I thank that person?

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

I have to forget.

Have you ever tried to forget something that you are encountering every moment? Isn't it difficult? Even if you are thinking about forgetting something or somebody....isn't it a way of remembering?

I wake-up and think...I have to forget. I switch on my computer and think...I have to forget. I check my mail and think...I have to forget. I write my blog and think...I have to forget. I walk to classes and think...I have to forget. I watch a movie and think...I have to forget. I sleep and think...I have to forget. Someone mentions anything related to that and I think...I have to forget. And in order to forget, I remember every moment more clearly than ever before. And sometimes, I doubt myself. Am I really trying to forget?

This is ironic. You remember those things more that you want to forget most. You try to let go every moment and unconsciously you remember every single one of them.

What is the best way to forget? Tried google. Got 96,800,000 results. Tried reading some. Its all bullshit. Do you have any suggestions?

Forget it...I have to forget a more important thing.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 24, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Dhinch Day 2

Hostel 4 always rocks.


No money...He gave him a 'tool' (paper-pin :P)


Dhinch Class of '08, Chemical Engineering, IIT Bombay

4 (?) girls


And first prize goes to 'Ronak'. He earned 22 Rs from his first business.
And generously paid the auto bill to hostel.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Friday, March 23, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Dhinch Day 1

Believe me. He is not a beggar.


Me and May


Two girlish boy (boyish girl..?)


classes in these dress? (Sometimes IIT is fun)


Sorry...I just couldn't see the beggar :P

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Friday, March 23, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

The good, The bad & the ugly

  • Missed one quiz of mass transfer today.
  • Just before my 'Cryogenics' quiz, A friend said that I'm about to receive a very harsh mail.
  • Tried to focus in the quiz. Couldn't. Left a question in middle and came back.
  • Read the mail from a very important persons. Tried telling about my true self and about some misconceptions. It was really harsh. Said good-bye.
  • Trying to be calm.
  • The day was perfect. I have one quiz tomorrow again. Thought that I'll study it today. But, I'm off for another week now.
  • It's the time to change my wallpaper. No point having a pic of a person I cant even meet, talk, chat or mail.
  • Trying to convince myself that life indeed is beautiful.
  • Thinking to change my room interior. I feel so nostalgic right now.
  • Someone said me egoistic again.
  • One freshman came with his poems to show me today.
  • Someone said I don't of a sophisticated way of speaking, sitting or leaving.
  • I got to know that being with me can be embarrassment for people.
  • Life is about to change.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Arbit

  • Went for NOBA meet in Vashi on Sunday. Saw some of my old friends and seniors from my school. Lots of successful people.
  • Watched 3-8-10-tansa PAF. It was nicely executed. Mishra and golani, the man behind it did a good job. This PAF exceeded my expectations.
  • Watching an anime series 'Prince of tennis'. It's good. watched almost 90 episodes in 3 days.
  • I've 3 quizzes tomorrow. I thought that I'll study on weekends but I didn't.
  • Still trying to get my life back.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Tuesday, March 20, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Out of PAF

Finally I said everyone that I'm out of PAF. And now that I'm out of it, I can see my hostelmates angry and my friends disappointed. I was always enthusiastic in dramatics activities. Does it mean that I don't have a right to decide if I want to be part of it or not?

I know that most of them will not understand. So, just want to say...that I need rest. I always worked hard for hostel and institute. This is the time when I need some rest. Please understand, if you can.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 17, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Effect of LAN Restriction

It was not long time back when we (read it more than 100 people) used to enjoy till 2:00 AM in our hostels, together. Tonight, we had a DJ playing in our hostel. And only 7 people came up for the dancing. (Normally, It'd have been 150+). Because, everyone is thinking about LAN restriction from 11:00 PM. The whole evening, which would have been a nice way of interaction and socialising, is destroyed. And they say that it is for increasing interaction. No one came. It sucks! The blind system is increasing frustration in the name of decreasing it.

Today, Times of India published a whole page of articles to convey the message that the LAN restriction in IIT is a good move. Like the authorities, media is also fooling everyone. Well...! it's media. But, still I didnt expect them to comment on something they are totally unaware of. Come to hour hostels, live with us fro a week and try to attend the lectures. 
See it and feel it before saying some thing.

They banned every GC (interhostel general championship) and thus decreased hostel enthu and participation in extra curicullar activities. And now, They are crying over no one takes part in activities. And this is the reason they are trying to feed us for LAN ban.

Every person decide for himself. And they are trying to enforce our choices. Nice try. Here is one more idea you can think about implementing. Give everyone a dose of tranqualiser with dinner. It will make all of us sleep and all of us will be present in the class next day irrespective of what they teach there.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Friday, March 16, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Find your match



Someone mailed me this. Don't take it seriously. :D

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Up and Down

  • Nature maintains symmetry. The one, who is reason for your smile will become the reason for your tears.
  • Last night I had most expensive dinner in my life. 2 persons: Rs. 1046. And I liked it.
  • Missed cryogenics lecture today. Didnt do the assignment again.
  • I cant remember the day when I cleaned up my room last time.
  • Finally, I can play C-major in 3 seconds. :)
  • Watched 18 episode of 'Heroes' this weekend. It's just like X-men. I liked it. Waiting for 19th episode to come. But, its airing date is 23rd march. :(
  • One of my good friends is in pain. I wish I can help it.
  • Internet is giving pain these days. Not good speed and randomly goes away.
  • My computer is very slow.
  • I scored 23/30 in 'process equipment design'. Better than almost all of my friends. Averge is 17.something. Aah...!! Only if I continued studying with the same pace. :(
  • "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." So, I'm still pursuing my happiness. I'm acting.
  • While talking to a friend...I said this, "The one who is satisfied after quitting is a winner. And the one, who is satisfied after winning is a quitter".
  • One more person said to me that I always look down on others. Ohh god! Help me.
  • I contacted a person with tremendous piano skill to give me some tips. So, I think I'm gonna improve faster now.
  • I dont know why I put the title as 'up and down'.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

The Pursuit Of Happyness

Last night I watched it. Spectacular performance by Will Smith. One of the best recent movies I've seen in past few months.

I'm still pursuing my happiness.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 10, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Fun Night

It was great.
Went 'Sheras' for dinner.
Watched 'Dreamgirls' in PVR.
Loved the movie.
Thanx to my partner.
Love u friend.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 10, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Update

There is an update at my podcast. Initially I tried playing piano with voice. But, After doing this twice, I realised that the effect of voice is not that good if I'm playing music simultaneously. And there were unremovable recording noise. So, I prefered to record without music. Hope You like it. Comment there. Link is: http://vikash.mypodcast.com
You can also download the file from this link: http://www.mypodcast.com/fsaudio/vikash_20070309_0624-8253.mp3

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Friday, March 09, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Surbahaar

Surbahaar is annual music show here. Tonight I went there and enjoyed alot. After a long time, I really danced with freedom. Working on PAF now and missing lectures is a part of it. Want to write many things but my hand is denying to type anything and mind is also too lazy to think. So, I guess I'll go to bed now.

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Thursday, March 08, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Insomnia

I missed all my classes again. Last time I went to the class was thursday last week. These days I'm waking up after 1:00 PM. Missing all my breakfast and lunches. Spending lot of time near lake.

Whenever I'm alone I feel like crying. And unfortunately, I'm almost always alone these days. If somehow I avoid being in my room in daytime, I cant avoid it in night. And as soon as I come to my room, things start popping up in my head. And so, It takes hell lot of time for me to sleep. Sleeping at 5:00 or 6:00 AM. Obviously, I'm missing classes. Am I insane? In my dreams also, I get scared of loosing someone. Am I becoming crazy? Insomnic? Should I see a psychiatrist?

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Tuesday, March 06, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

सबल

अगर
सबल होने का तात्पर्य है
कि मैं तुम्हें भूल जाऊँ
कि तुम्हारे ना होने पर भी
अविचलित रह पाऊँ

कि तुम्हारा सान्निध्य खोकर हँसता रहूँ
कि तुम्हारी नामौज़ूदगी
बिन आँसुओं के सहता रहूँ

तो हाँ॰॰॰।
मैं सबल नहीं हूँ

मुझे निर्बलता का पर्याय कह लो
आँसुओं का अध्याय कह लो
निराशावादी व्यक्तित्व कह लो
अर्थहीन अस्तित्व कह लो

क्योंकि जबतक मेरी साँस चलेगी
मुझे तुम्हारी कमी खलेगी

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Monday, March 05, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

My Holi

Its really funny when I look back and try to recall when someone asks me 'how was ur holi?'.

Pre-Holi Day:
  • Woke up at 1:00 PM. Missed breakfast and lunch.
  • Went to 'Laminhgton Road' at 1:30 PM, did nothing.
  • 9:00 PM: first and only meal of the day. Had Paav-bhaaji at vikroli.
  • 10:00 PM: Came back. Checked mail. Started watching 'Eragon'.
  • 11:00 PM: Holika-Dahan started in my hostel. Me watching eragon in my room.
Holi Day:
  • 00:00 AM: Still watching eragon. I liked it.
  • 01:00 AM: Playing keyboard. Learning to read sheet music.
  • 4:00 AM: Still with the keyboard.
  • 5:00 AM: Was sleeping.
  • 9:00 AM: Still sleeping.So, missed my breakfast.
  • 11:00 AM: woke up when someone knocked on my door. They threw some color.
  • 11:20 AM: I came down. People are dancing with negligible clothing. SOmeone tried to tear off my pants. Gave him a cold look. Nothing happened. Came back to my room. Took a bath.
  • 12:00 PM: trying to watch a movie. Tried 'Intimacy'. It was almost porn. Left in 15 minutes.
  • 12:30 PM: Had lunch. Didnt like it.
  • 1:00 PM: Get to know that our mess is off for tiffin and dinner. Went to lakeside. In H11 girls were dancing on 'Chumma chumma de de'.
  • 2:00 PM: After sitting for an hour felt like coming back to hostel and watch something. Tired of thinking. Cancelled my plan to go to watch a play. Too down to do anything.
  • 2:30 PM: Watched 'face off'
  • 4:30 PM: nothing to do. Went lakeside again.
  • 5:00 PM: met an old friend M. Talked shit.
  • 6:00 PM: Went to mandir after very long time. Wished the same wishes again.
  • 6:30 PM: Sitting alone on lakeside.
  • 7:30 PM: Lying down beside LT. My favourite lamp post with a lot of sweet memories. Watching the sky, the orion. Soft breeze were nice. Imagined someones lap and I slept. Was about to fall when I woke up. Realised its almost 15 feet.
  • 8:10 PM: went to LT, to watch 'Kavi sammelan'.
  • 12:00 PM: came back. Realised that My account in canteen is closed and I dont have any money to buy food tonight. Drinking water. Realised that I have 2 assignment submission tomorrow and I have not done anything.
  • 00:23AM: My RSS feed reader tells me about updation of a blog. Read that. Writer wrote that the world is either depressing or beautiful depends on you. So, true. It's me who is messing up with myself.
 

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Monday, March 05, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

Music


I'm trying to learn how to read music. hehehe! Now, I can read musical notations and play it on keyboard. 

These websites helped me alot.
  • http://www.learnpianoonline.com/
  • http://www.pianonanny.com/
  • http://www.musictheory.net/
  • http://www.free-online-piano-lessons.com/

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Sunday, March 04, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  

:(

I'm dying
but still trying.
wish you were here!

This entry was written by Vikash Kumar and posted on Saturday, March 03, 2007 and filed under Bookmark the permalink . Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post . Post a comment  
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