We were walking
me and my friend.
When I saw her and liked her.
My friend said, go n talk
But, I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few months passed
I kept watching her.
People said, 'she is pretty'
I knew it.
And I wanted to share this line with her.
But, I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
one friend said, write a mail.
I didnt know what to write.
I didnt know if I should write.
But I wrote something.
And used someone else name.
I know I was stupid.
I wanted to use my name.
But, I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
she came and sat next to me.
I thought, its a golden opportunity.
I should talk to her.
That day I really wanted to.
I said, "Hi"
and remain silent for next 3 hours.
I wanted to chat with her
But, I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
She was sitting few benches away.
everybody was looking in front
and my vision was deviated by 30 degree.
That day she made me a poet.
I wrote for her
I wrote about her.
I thought I will tell her about it, someday.
Someday...when we will be friends.
that day, I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
she was singing
everyone was listening
and I was watching.
Watching her smiling face.
I decided to say her,
that you sing really good.
I went there,
someone else was saying the same words.
One more came and said
one more.
I was standing...dumb.
I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
I saw her walking down the street
She was wearing white
Soothing like the moonlight.
Someone said, She looks great in white.
I agreed.
Next day, I saw her in red.
She looked great in red.
Next day, I saw her in green.
She looked great in green.
I wanted to tell her,
'It is not the colors that I like'.
'It is you.'
I couldn't 'coz I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
I got her number.
And messaged her.
She responded.
I was happy.
But, I never messaged again.
Because I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
She was depressed.
I called to console her.
I tried to make her laugh.
I wanted to take all her tears away.
I wanted her to feel that she is not alone.
Even if evryone seems to be gone.
But, I couldn't.
Because I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
I was holding a book
and thinking about her.
She was sitting few tables away.
I thought to ask her for a cup of coffee.
I was thinking
and thinking
and thinking.
One person, who was sitting next to my table.
He stood up and asked her.
They went for a coffee.
And I was holding the same book.
Why...???
Because I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
It was a very special day.
People call it Valentine.
I thought to ask her out.
I remembered my old mistake.
And I dared to ask.
She said 'yes'.
I wanted to say many more things.
But, I couldn't.
Because I was afraid of her.
Few more months passed
We went out.
And those moments, I cant forget.
I was lost in her beauty.
But, I was talking.
Talking everything.
But not the things I wanted to talk.
You'll ask me why...???
And the answer is same
Because I was afraid of her.
Finally I dared to say her
that I'm afraid of her.
She asked why??
And I've nothing to say but cry.
She was in love.
with someone else.
I wanted to share the secret love of my heart.
But, it's all was pointless now.
I wanted to tell her everything
(Knowing that its all pointless)
So, the last question I asked was
"Are we good friends...?"
And she said,
"No. Because we hardly interact."
I always wanted to interact with her.
But, I never did.
And you know why.
So, Dont repeat my misatkes.
Believe in yourself.
And just try.
--Vikash, last evening which was unique like every other evenings.