Post Midsem
Those days are very busy and nasty. Although I didnt perform well in so many subjects but I'm satisfied because finally it ended and I'll get what I deserve. I went to watch a play that night with anshul to treat myself. And that play was a real treat named 'shakkar ke paanch daane'. Came back and saw some of my so-called-friends chattering along roadside. Had a grand dinner in Gulmohar courtsey Anshul. So, That night was very good. After coming to my hostel I started watching Harry potter series. Although I've watched it infinite times with Dona. Slept in night and it was 2:00 PM when I woke up finally on saturday and I started watching the series again (The parts I couldnt watch last night after being drowsy). Then, quickly gone through the 4th and 5th book and started reading the 6th one (still reading).
Amazingly I didnt chat to anyone but for few minutes with ritu. My cell is also not working. So, I was not connected with outside world. I slept for hours n hours without caring anything else....I read the harry potter book for hours n hours without caring anything else. And suddenly (not so suddenly) I found that I'm changing towards so many things now and I really dont care for anything else. Not even of so-called-best-friends over here. Because during the exam I've realised so many new things. Like, If you have to survive here dont be dependent on anyone, not even on your friends because most of the time, the person who is pretending to be your nicest friend ever is not really a friend. I always think and I know that I'm good at judging people and what My mind says me is never ever wrong. But sometimes due to some emotional imbalance (right word!!??) I prefer my heart over my mind. Sometimes I knew that the person will not help me if I'm in need but still I help him/her. So, any sort of ditching-stuff dont come in my path unexpectedly. But, Even if you are expecting this, loosing your frineds hurts. It really hurts, even if you know that they were not so-friendly ever.
What I'm writing now may seem like a crap to anybody else but I dont give a damn. Yup! I'm writing without caring anything else. Last few days are good enough for me because I was all alone and I know it for now that without a single friend I can survive. (It doesn't mean that I will not love to have one. It is just like 'grapes are sour'). I'm fed up of everyone here. Specially, those who pretend to be my friend and who are all absent along all th(e/o)se days I need them. But, be happy my dear friends I've learnt to leave alone. I already knew (after 8.5 years of exile anyone will know). But, I was just trying to become so-called-normal. I was a damn fool to try so. Everyone is destined to live all alone.
Just before writing this I tried to chat with ritu. But, after few moments somehow I realised that It is not worth taking one more risk. Yup! I dont believe relationships so much that I could reveal my-trueself. I know aftre reading this you will be hurted atleast a little annoyed. But, I'm trying to be honest. I've seen so many my so-called-friends behaving strangely even if they are physically present. So, How can I rely on you?? I'm sorry that I'm saying this but, even if you want to help me by your heart u can't. 'coz you are not here. And neha! I'm saying it to you as well.
Amazingly I didnt chat to anyone but for few minutes with ritu. My cell is also not working. So, I was not connected with outside world. I slept for hours n hours without caring anything else....I read the harry potter book for hours n hours without caring anything else. And suddenly (not so suddenly) I found that I'm changing towards so many things now and I really dont care for anything else. Not even of so-called-best-friends over here. Because during the exam I've realised so many new things. Like, If you have to survive here dont be dependent on anyone, not even on your friends because most of the time, the person who is pretending to be your nicest friend ever is not really a friend. I always think and I know that I'm good at judging people and what My mind says me is never ever wrong. But sometimes due to some emotional imbalance (right word!!??) I prefer my heart over my mind. Sometimes I knew that the person will not help me if I'm in need but still I help him/her. So, any sort of ditching-stuff dont come in my path unexpectedly. But, Even if you are expecting this, loosing your frineds hurts. It really hurts, even if you know that they were not so-friendly ever.
What I'm writing now may seem like a crap to anybody else but I dont give a damn. Yup! I'm writing without caring anything else. Last few days are good enough for me because I was all alone and I know it for now that without a single friend I can survive. (It doesn't mean that I will not love to have one. It is just like 'grapes are sour'). I'm fed up of everyone here. Specially, those who pretend to be my friend and who are all absent along all th(e/o)se days I need them. But, be happy my dear friends I've learnt to leave alone. I already knew (after 8.5 years of exile anyone will know). But, I was just trying to become so-called-normal. I was a damn fool to try so. Everyone is destined to live all alone.
Just before writing this I tried to chat with ritu. But, after few moments somehow I realised that It is not worth taking one more risk. Yup! I dont believe relationships so much that I could reveal my-trueself. I know aftre reading this you will be hurted atleast a little annoyed. But, I'm trying to be honest. I've seen so many my so-called-friends behaving strangely even if they are physically present. So, How can I rely on you?? I'm sorry that I'm saying this but, even if you want to help me by your heart u can't. 'coz you are not here. And neha! I'm saying it to you as well.
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